Joining the unemployed | Losing my sense of security and how I overcome it

I’ve been through a difficult phase recently, that is being a member of the unemployed.

The event sucked me into a blackhole of deep sadness and grief. The least someone wants now is uncertainty. It was just too much for me. I was confused as to what to do next. I cannot find words to express how I felt after learning my new reality. I will not delve into details, but before leaving for my “vacation”, I was given an assurance that I will be coming back. However, things changed few weeks after my departure. 

It took sometime to process this information. It was exceptionally difficulty, given the world’s situation today. Top it off with the status of the hospitality and tourism industry. 

I had to do something, else I will fall into depression. Distractions like social media and binge watching shows helped, but not a lasting solution. I was overwhelmed with the truth. I underwent a process to make sense of that is happening. These activities helped me pull myself together and get me back on my feet:

1. Reflecting

My mom and I took a moment to reflect on the occurrences that led me to unemployment. We did it right after I got out from quarantine. My mom led me to realize the what, how and why things happened. 

We tried our best to be objective by looking into different angles. This made me see the bigger picture. At the end of our session, I was able to be more accepting of  my situation. My emotions were more stable since the occurrence was broken down for me and my concerns were addressed immediately and accordingly.

2. Journaling

Paper is more patient than man.

Anne Frank

I bought a new journal to dump all my thoughts and emotions. I guess it is not really necessary to buy a new one, but the act has a symbolic meaning to me.

Through journaling, I freed myself from dealing with the negatives. Writing all down allowed me to observe and analyze my perceptions, and to process the event on my own without worrying about being judged.

3. Grieving

Joining the unemployed group shook me. I have lost security. I was paralyzed. Though it is exceptionally possible for someone to lose their bread and butter today, one cannot be too prepared to hear this unpleasant news.

I didn’t deny myself the right to grieve. I ugly cried and I didn’t have the energy to be productive. I didn’t force myself to feel fine, when I am not. I took things slowly, but intentionally. I know that I cannot be in this state for long. Eventually, I have to carry on with my life and move on. This helped with my recovery.  

4. Trusting God and being grateful

When I was renewing my passport, I visited a chapel in one of the malls here in the Philippines. I prayed intently and told God that I am ready for his plans for me. The following day, I learned that I was removed from the company’s platforms.

It was overwhelming, but knowing that God has plans for me made the event more bearable. I have faith that He will not put me in a situation I cannot overcome.

Instead of being pessimistic, I chose to be grateful and count the positive experience I can get out of this event like me being able to spend Christmas with my family after 7 years, having ample time to try new things, and having the opportunity to build my character. 

5. Defeating procrastination

As my coping mechanism, I procrastinated. I need to start from scratch ,and it overwhelming. I’ve wasted a lot of time to nonessentials like scrolling down on social media and impulsively adding items to my cart, until recently.

I have overcome this destructive habit by intentionally engage with inspirations, actively and consciously expressing my feelings and redirecting my efforts to myself.

If you have been reading my blogs, I love my Blinkist and Podcast apps. I would intentionally block time to listen to inspiring and motivational contents. I also intentionally spend time on Pinterest. I said intentionally because I didn’t really want to, but I chose to.

I am well aware that I am a candidate to being a toxic person right now. I need to express my emotions to keep my sanity. However, I am equally abreast with the knowledge that everyone has their own matters to sort out. When speaking with others, I try to balance things by being more conscious with what I share, so that I would not add up to their worries.This practice forced me to evaluate my emotions and think more objectively. 

After learning that I am jobless, my confidence and motivation depleted. It didn’t really felt right experiencing that despite putting your best efforts, you, as an employee, can be removed without any closure.  

While meditating on my bitterness, I had a lightbulb moment. I have always given my A game at work, why not redirect my aggressiveness to myself? I don’t know with you, but I always tend to neglect my personal concerns, but after my realization, I put things to work. I started treating myself as my own company.

It might be weird and narcissistic, but it made sense to me and it keeps the ball rolling. 

What is next for me?

Right now, I am still laying my plans down, but I things does not bother me much anymore because I know that God is with me and He will never forsake me. 

Things might not get any easier as days go by, but what else can I do? Nothing really, but accept the situation, move on and ensure to turn this tragedy to victory.

How do you cope up with loses? Share it with us on the comments below! Have a great day ahead and keep safe.

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